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Mon Paradis2008/9/12 080912从080101到现在，当在北京的时间已可以用分秒来计算时，我选择彻夜不眠，来告别这个我待了18年的城市。
“为什么伤感呢？18年来我抱怨尽了学校循规蹈矩的生活，时不时都想马上，逃之夭夭。。。” “为什么兴奋呢？当北京初秋的阳光小心地从微黄的叶子缝隙中照下来，当湛蓝的天空下秋风带来一股凉意，我用离开来迎接这最美的季节。。。”
我向往巴黎，迷恋纽约，厌倦北京 我以为我向往巴黎，迷恋纽约，厌倦北京
不管是香榭丽舍两旁的泡桐，还是第五大道街边的摩天楼，它们都不构成生活。 生活这幅唯美的画，参观者耐心观察它，迷恋它，然后依依不舍地离去； 画中人，平静地穿过熟悉地街道，甚至不去欣赏下周围的景致。
原来北京才是个实实在在的地方，太实在，太平易近人，朴实得让人忽视了她得存在。 原来我一直就是她的一部分，不论我怎么哭着嚷着说我和她有多不像。
离开就离开吧，其实又怎么真正离得开呢～ 'tis just time to leave, dear, time to be away from life... 2008/4/18 nonsensealright if thats what upper class is.
sexy girlies grabbing white men as boyfriends, putting themselves into gorgeous dresses that barely cover anything in order to show their damn slender legs, well yes, sure, with a glass of rosé champagne in their hands, nobody would ever doubt their elegance.
but if their glamourous eyeshadows and shiny lipgloss really make matters different...apart from their spangles and high heels, there might just be phony talking and insecure feeling... 2008/1/1 An improvisatory vignette8:59 she waits. Another day of visitors. "Regarde, ma petite! C'est la Vénus de Milo!" Every year, millions of people come all the way from all over the world to catch a glance of her agreeable countenance and her impeccable contour. she's beset by people, smothered. they little admirers, coming with great appreciation, soon leave her without hesitate. "allez, cherie~" she stands still, beautifully caved, perfectly created. she knows that it should always be her tragedy as she watches people arrive and depart. la Vénus de Milo, immortal beauty she owns, but has nowhere to belong to.
*p.s.: i thought about the space, after all i can't leave it blank^^ Nc.Ni. 2007/9/12 "friends" vs. real friends!~ WHAT IS SO DIFFERENT BETWEEN THEM TWO?!
Real friends support you. Whenever, wherever, whatever, they are and always will be at your side; they take good care of you, and truely understand your feelings; even if they don't appear to be too passionate.
"Friends" are acting like your acquaintances, but they are made of excuses; they are conceited, self-important and disguised. Actually, they are named strangers!
You see, there are few places in the world where you could never find real friendships. It's my misfortune to be in such a place fulled with hypocrites. Period. 2007/9/3 Before the sunset 恍惚中意识到自己已经工作了一天，灰粉色的房间好像是瞬间就变成红彤彤的。直到后来自己的影子从那面可谓是“空旷”的墙上渐渐变得模糊，消失，夕阳将要收起最后的一抹红，于是我又体会到那种，一直以来占据自己房间的，干干的温情。
我是向来不在夕阳西下时开灯的，特别是在厨房。在暗室般的厨房欣赏窗外野玫瑰色的天空，光与影的反差不禁让人想起卡拉瓦乔。我娴熟地在窗帘水波般的影子下做好一杯咖啡，很细致地端起，很珍惜的呷一口。这种时刻总让我觉得无比虔诚，就好像教堂里祈祷的老人，聆听天堂的声音的那般心境。
我倚着墙，眺望西边无限远处的辉煌，或是说想象更为贴切吧，咀嚼起那份根本不存在的愁。不识愁滋味就是不识愁滋味，心中的那份忧伤，浪漫得像此刻头上的天空，而并非如同此时处在的角落这般黑暗，这般真实。
我于是回到房间，彼时的情调已随此时的太阳一样降至山的那边。
总有一天，我能在天蓝色的彼岸奢侈地享受日落的奇迹。
"Love is like the wind, you can't see it, but you can feel it."
Sometimes we do feel something, without any understanding.
we know everything deep in our hearts; it's just yet to be discovered.
Pour it out before sunsets, or it'll vanish in darkness. 2007/3/2 the thoughts after cinemaso the thing is, something really impressed me after my seeing the movie "the devil wears prada" (which now i could understand why it isnt "the devil who wears prada"or "the devil that is wearing prada" or something like that...), and , i would like to write something in english,finally, for somebody who is looking forward to jugding my english by an essay that i write to see whether i am also a jerk of "henri matisse's fauvism" (im doing the quote with my fingers right now^^)
cuz it is cruel! the comedy turned out to be a tragic thing to me, i didn't laugh at all. (but only for twice, well, i almost turned crazy when i saw the real valentino IS actually on screen; the second time was when i got pretty impressed by andrea saying a many "shit"s in about...a couple of seconds^^) the thing is that the goal that i was really hoping to achieve or the world i think i might just try hard to get in is just so...or simply on another planet!~ is that fashion or anything that is related to it is really like that? or just every single place of the world is as hard as nails?
so for me, its really about the time to say goodbye to alice in wonderland and face the real world, its cruel everywhere, its tough to find a foothold somewhere...so maybe just give up my naive imagination of my brilliant future a little bit and get back to reality for a while, and to bear things that i could barely bear, to stand things that i simple cannot stand, to reach what i really want. the point is...iv gotta know what i really want~
when im talking about the "things", i think they will also include the calculating that iv been doing, and whatever for university, and the stuff that i will have to take care of on my RUNWAY of taking off... |
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